12 Way Cool Jobs For 2012.

A few months ago my son who will be a senior at the University of Tennessee was getting pretty anxious about his summer employment, or lack thereof.  Knowing from personal experience that he won’t be 21 again I suggested that he look at the following employment opportunities.

Resort Water Slide Tester:   Surely the envy of any desk-bound office worker, Tommy Lynch has travelled over 27,000 miles this year for his job, testing vacation resort water slides. Lynch, 29, works for vacation giant First Choice, checking the height, speed, water quantity and landing of the water chutes, as well as all safety aspects.  Lynch tested water slides at vacation destinations in Lanzarote, Majorca, Egypt, Turkey, Costa Del Sol, Cyprus, Algarve, Dominican Republic and Mexico. This year he will hit First Choice’s new splash resorts in Greece, Turkey, Florida, Jamaica and Ibiza.

Housing Bulldozer Operator:  The job itself isn’t new, but it’s definitely been re-ignited by the country’s housing crunch. Some might view it from a theoretical perspective as a bit of a downer in that they have to tear down abandoned homes and buildings.  It’d be tough to be that close to so many failed dreams and promises; but on the other hand,  I’m willing to bet a real bulldozer is much more fun than those little yellow Tonka ones.

Professional Prostitute Tester:  Yup, Quality Control for a brothel in Chile.  Fiorella Companions is an escort services operation in Santiago, Chile which is owned and operated by, well….Madam Fiorella.  This individual is responsible for providing that final “interview” in their hiring process. Here is how it goes down; no pun intended.  Women who are interested in working as VIP escorts for Fiorella have to undergo interviews, psychological testing, and a photo shoot. The applicants are whittled down to a final six, who are then “occupied” one after the other in a single day by this Quality Control professional. He takes diligent notes on, say, how they moved their hips and whether their groans were adequate, and makes recommendations to the madam. Not so fast my friend.  The strain of the job is actually such that he can only do it once a month, testing around seventy girls or so a year.

Forensic Accountant:  So we have legal Ponzi schemes like social security and illegal Ponzi scheme like the one Bernie Madoff ran.  Focusing on the illegal type is what is termed forensic accounting. Large corporations have increasingly trained traditional accountants for these positions in the wake of large corporate failures, and now graduate programs are gaining traction as companies look to hire “fresh outs.”  Your job is simple: make sure everything adds up (in a legal sense), hope you uncover a huge scandal, become an expert witness, and start your own TV show.

World of Warcraft Tester:  Do you Play World of Warcraft? And if so, do you play well? Can you farm 200 gold an hour and hit level 80 in under 2 weeks? If the answer is yes, you can apply for the job that about 12 million players only dream about, as a Wow game tester!  There are in fact several Blizzard jobs posted on their website. They are looking for foreign language testers, so if you speak any other language besides English, don’t hesitate to apply and start your Blizzard career. And, yeah, you will be required to play at least four hours a day.

Ethical Hacker:  Want your identity stolen? Probably not. And neither does your bank, which is why financial institutions have started finding computer experts; the non-criminal type, to give their Web sites a workout. The best of the geeks crack the computer systems before the crooks do. So, basically, it’s just like being a real hacker, only with up to a hundred grand instead of the jail time.

Marijuana Lobbyist:  The right to get high has been a states’ issue for several years now, but as pot reform becomes a larger part of the national debate, these are the people at the forefront of the movement to de-stigmatize the drug. Just like other lobbyists, they glad-hand with politicians and policy wonks about why the drug should be legal, and get involved in fundraising for the cause. Of course, this requires charisma in addition to sketchiness which is a potential roadblock for your typical burnout.

Casino Host:  The only surefire way to make money at a casino is to get a job there.  Casinos can’t bring in cash without attracting and keeping patrons. Casino hosts are there to keep their customers happy — taking care of details like making dinner reservations, booking hotel rooms, scoring tickets to shows, and ensuring all concerned are “escorted” appropriately. 

Bike Rider-Photographer For Google Maps:  Google has hired two lucky young men to ride around France on dopey looking tricycles snapping up photos of historical sites that are inaccessible by car. This three-wheeler has a long pole holding nine cameras, a GPS, a computer and a generator. But the contraption tooling around the French capital needs all that gear to do its job while its’adding three-dimensional images to Google’s Street View Maps.

Brew Master:  Like beer? You’ll need to since you’d be around it all the time.   Most start out as home brewers and the complete some type of brewer certification program before going to work for a restaurant, or pub.   You’ll probably need to go to as many beer tastings as you can learn how to tinker with spices and other ingredients. It seems to be a fun occupation, but certainly not glamorous.  You’ll need to work in a hot environment as most breweries operate around 100 degrees as well as being covered  being covered with malt for most of the day.

Luxury Bed Tester:  Land your dream job…literally! Sleeping on the job will no longer be a problem if you’re selected to test out luxury beds for a month and get paid for it.   People earn $2,000 to sleep in designer beds every day for a month helping with a “sleep survey” carried out by luxury bed specialists Simon Horn Ltd. The company sells luxury Savoir Beds, originally made for the Savoy Hotel. You will not only provide an objective view of the beds on sale, but will also be part of a look into what brings a good night’s sleep. Successful candidates will spend from 10am to 6pm in beds in the company’s showroom and then will blog about the experience.

Paradise Island Caretaker:  Ben Southall, 34, of England, beat out nearly 35,000 applicants from around the world for the dream assignment to swim, explore and relax on Hamilton Island in the Great Barrier Reef, while writing a blog to promote the area. He was selected for the $111,000 gig – a six-month contract to serve as caretaker of a tropical Australian island. He now has to live rent-free in a three-bedroom villa, complete with pool.  Before getting the job he had to spend four days on the island for an extended interview process, which required applicants to snorkel through crystalline waters, gorge themselves at a beach-side grill and relax at a spa. He also had to demonstrate his blogging abilities, take swimming tests and sit through in-person interviews.

As usual, my son disregarded my research, and decided to take a paid internship with the Susan G. Koman Foundation in addition to tutoring University of Tennessee student-athletes in accounting.  He’s racing for the cure and I’m racing for the fountain of youth.


Posted on June 24, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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